It was early summer. The lush grass on which I lay was cool, the sun softly danced on my skin and the river was sparkling. A question escaped my lips:
What primarily motivates you, love or fear?
A year has passed and I have pondered the answer that I had presented at that time. I responded with 'love' but on further reflection I would like to revoke my initial answer. I was primarily motivated by fear.
Up until my final years of secondary school I wanted to have a job doing something creative. I convinced myself that art or design were terrible career choice because of how financially unstable and competitive the industry could be. Secretly, I was fearful of failure. This fear was further re-affirmed when I had shared my folio with someone and I was provided with un-constructive and negative feedback. I put my pencils and paintbrushes to rest feeling defeated. Time passed and I was miserable with the direction I was taking. Sure I had secured a well-paying job and a beautiful apartment but none of these achievements made my heart sing with joy. I was frequently tired and in the evening my dreams were void of color - emptiness.
More recently, I picked up a paintbrush and finished a beautiful piece, I felt elevated. So what happened?
Up until my final years of secondary school I wanted to have a job doing something creative. I convinced myself that art or design were terrible career choice because of how financially unstable and competitive the industry could be. Secretly, I was fearful of failure. This fear was further re-affirmed when I had shared my folio with someone and I was provided with un-constructive and negative feedback. I put my pencils and paintbrushes to rest feeling defeated. Time passed and I was miserable with the direction I was taking. Sure I had secured a well-paying job and a beautiful apartment but none of these achievements made my heart sing with joy. I was frequently tired and in the evening my dreams were void of color - emptiness.
More recently, I picked up a paintbrush and finished a beautiful piece, I felt elevated. So what happened?
The following things changed for me:
- I made the choice to not allow negative people to influence my life or my choices. If people tell you "it's not possible" they are simply projecting their own fears onto you.
- I made the choice to surround myself with positive people who provided support and nurtured my personal development.
- I asked myself, that if I was 50 years older if I would look back on my life and regret not taking that step.
- I recognised my fears, I allowed myself to feel uncomfortable and I began doing the things I have always wanted to do. I embraced my fears.
Finally, and most importantly I asked myself the following question: